night

By Graeme MacKay, The Hamilton Spectator, Tuesday November 6, 2012

Election envy? Canada’s the lucky country

Canadian beaver looks forward to US election boxing match

How time flies! Four years ago tonight, we Canadians were feeling awfully sorry for ourselves. You’d just elected the coolest, hippest president since JFK. We’d just elected Stephen Harper. No wonder we had leader envy. Why couldn’t we find a leader as progressive and charismatic as yours? Why were we stuck in a cold country with politicians who are as dull and uninspiring as November’s mud?

Today, we wouldn’t change places with you for anything. Canada has held its own while you’ve gone downhill. The United States is flat broke, and so are California, New York and Illinois. Your unemployment rate is higher, your inequality is greater and you have 46 million people on food stamps.

What’s worse, you might wind up with a Republican president again. Aieee!

In the event of a debacle, some of you have asked if Canada’s doors are open to you. I assure you that you would be more than welcome. Disgruntled Americans have been fleeing to Canada since 1776. We could set up refugee camps with Target stores so you’ll feel at home.You’ll be relieved to know we already have Starbucks. But if you want to fit in, you’ll need to practise saying “double-double.”

There are other tricky nuances to life up here. “Blue” and “red” mean the opposite of what you’re used to. Our blue politicians are pretty red, meaning progressive. If you listen to some people in Toronto talk, you might think our government is led by fascists in jackboots, but that’s not strictly true. Even our Conservatives believe in universal health care. They’ve even promised to cut military spending. By the way, did I mention that gay marriage has been legal for years?  (Source: Globe & Mail)